Holy Week

I had the opportunity to attend and even participate in Holy Week Celebrations here in the Philippines. Out here the Lenton season is extremely important and the Catholic’s take it very seriously. In Pampanga (my province) we take it to another level, we actually reenact the crucifixion. Not only do we do this but men in our communities will walk with a cross around the Barangay and arrive back at the church and continue to pray. Community members will follow the man showing support. Other men will actually flagellate themselves with a whip and pieces of wood. They have another man with a paddle (with shards of glass sticking out of it) and every so often he will tell the flagellator to stop and he will paddle their backs and they will then carry on. Layers of skin comes off and this is to bring them closer to God and feel Jesus’s sacrifice. There is a quite a bit of blood. This starts on Maundy Thursday. On Good Friday is the reenactment of the crucifixion and the man who has been playing Jesus has been doing it for years. He was actually nailed to the cross. Now this show has become a yearly activity and people from all over come to witness the event. I wished I was local or international press because they got to sit under the large tarp and not get scorched by the sun. I did my penance and got fried and blood splatter that ruined my shorts by the end of the show. It was a really interesting experience and it will happen again next year. There are so many men who flagellate or carry the cross. On the way to San Fernando to watch the crucifixion the bus was so slow because it had to overtake men participating in one of these two rituals and walking on the highway.

It was just incredible the dedication these men have to be closer to god and penance. At the site of the crucifixion a man was selling a paddle and whip and I could not imagine getting hit or hitting myself with either. None of the women participated in the events. I believe they just do some extra praying. During Holy Week there are also processions in the Barangay’s that occur.

Below are some of the pictures of Holy Week.

Sometimes Being Far Away is Not All Its Cracked Up to Be

I know I have a long title but over the last 2 weeks I have been able to experience what that means in multiple ways.

2 weeks ago (March 3, 2008), I got sick with a stomach bug that kept me from work and not able to really prep for a training I was to do. I couldn’t eat without the feeling of wanting to upchuck what I ate so I was refraining. I had a virus that did things to me I can only discuss with my doctor and another Peace Corps Volunteer. I know this sounds pretty silly but here we talk about everything that happens to us inside and out and sometimes it can become a competition. By Saturday the stomach bug was still causing havoc and a throat infection (tonsillitis) had developed. I was having issues from every area. For the first time in my life drugs were not helping, I was not in my own bed, I was still working and I wasn’t being cared for by my family.

By Tuesday I was much better but participating in a training that had me sitting in a chair for 6 hours but my mind working like a race horse. I cannot express how intense the training was. Saturday my throat problem decided to come back but I finished my prescription on Wednesday. My medical officer said I was going to have to let it run its course. What does she mean??? I am actually going to have to take it like a tough girl??? Well I’m not a tough girl and I want it to go away. Maybe I’m just a sucker for punishment but I’m letting this virus do its thing and hope to god it leaves my system soon cause this really sucks.

In the mean time I was away on the road for 8 days doing and participating in 2 trainings. I left Thursday March 6, 2008 sick and miserable but ready to show my will power, that mind over matter thing and conquer. By the following Wednesday I had received a few nice texts that I was missed from people and I was having withdrawals from seeing the kids at the center. I knew I was a homebody before I left the states but I have become really attached to my home here. I even missed my cat Harold, like no other. I wanted to be at home.

Friday I had the chance to stop in at work when I got home and found out 2 kids were sent to the National Center for Mental Health while I was gone and I was really upset since one of the kids I was really attached to. I think it hit me harder than normal because I was overtired and getting sick again. That night I was with some community members and I was totally culturally inappropriate but now looking back on it I can only think “Oops” and next time I’m in a emotional and physical crisis not to accept any invitations to visit with people, my social skills are terrible and I’m way to sarcastic for anyone to handle.

I felt very alone this weekend with my thoughts. I like to share how I feel because it helps me process but out here I’m not understood like I am back at home and the words are taken differently. My actions here are strange and misunderstood. Last Friday I didn’t want to go home because I wasn’t ready to be around people so I went for a walk down a side street I really like and sat at a gate just to think. It was near a councilor’s farm and he was alerted by some neighbors that there was a “tisay” (fair skinned girl – white girl) sitting by herself which is not normal. People here are rarely alone and if someone is sitting by themselves to think this is a very bad sign. My host dad was even alerted by an extended relative of my actions before I got home and wanted to know why I was there and doing that. Not being able to be honest is hard especially for me who likes to talk about my feelings.

I love it here and I love my job but it is really hard and the emotional rollercoaster is one wild ride. I get to learn right now not by being taught but by experience.