Mid Service Training

So officially I’ve survived the first half of my tour of service here in Peace Corps Philippines. It is so weird because it kinda feels like I just left. Really our COS date is August 6th (now Aug 7th) so honestly we have less than 11 official months left but who is counting, hehehe. It is rather interesting thinking about how much has happened in the last 15 months and what will happen in the next 11 months. Personally and professionally this tour has been exciting and challenging.

Challenges were losing a cousin and aunt within a few months of each other just after I arrived to a disease that also took my mother almost 4 years ago. Aunt Peg was the second most important person in my life after my mother. I put her in the “on vacation” box in my mind. When people die I find it hard to process the feeling and so I associate it with that of a person who is “on vacation.” My cousin also passed on but I was more prepared because I knew it was going to happen before I left. My family invested in a condo development project over 2 years ago and this year has been really tough for them and I haven’t been there. Sometimes I feel I left them but they have always been so supportive of my Peace Corps dream.

As for what I’ve learned since I arrived: I can write a grant proposal (well any proposal for that matter), I love being a trainer and presenting information to large groups, I however still don’t like being a teacher to students (below college level), empowering people is still a passion and I’m becoming more effective, I love planning activities for groups of kids and even though it is still tough I am better at working with teens. People are similar everywhere you go. They want to be heard, they will be invested in something they feel is necessary to them and they want to improve their lives to give their children better opportunities. I love the concept of family here: family comes first, families spend lots of time together and support each other on various levels, they are somewhat clannish. The relationship a person has is far more important than what you know or what you can do. If you want something to get done you better have a solid relationship with the stakeholders on a personal level or it can be very difficult. I know I want to continue my degree in social work and focus in the clinical realm specifically working with those in crisis. People are fascinating, wonderfully complex which makes them unique and challenging to work with.

What I didn’t expect is to realize what a control freak I am and even though I thought I was laid back, I’m more output orientated than I ever thought, work is very important to me, for me it somewhat defines me; weather that is good or bad I’m still figuring that out. Being in the Philippines has required me to recognize these traits in myself. I don’t get angry when things take longer than they should but I stress internally on what it should be like. I’m working on being more able to release it and let it go. I guess I’m also very time specific. For the first time I’m usually early to appointments or meetings. In the states I was always running 10-15 minutes late. It is weird and honestly I don’t personally like being early. I don’t really get frustrated when people are late only when they plan on not arriving to begin with.

I feel my contribution this past year has been just a drop in the ocean of life of those I worked with. I know the work I have done and relationships I have created have been important to me and the people who received the information but I am still concerned about how sustainable my work has been. On an individual level I think I have been valuable but I’m not sure if I’ve done the best to empower my coworkers to take on and grow what we have done together for the agency. I think during the rest of my time here I need to strengthen what I have worked on and make sure what I’ve been working on is what they want to continue when I’m done.

Let the adventure continue…